Do You Suffer From The
"Nice Guy" Syndrome...?
Gentleman, Thundercat is at it
again!
This time the creator of
The Art of Approaching is helping guys
break out of the self-destructive – nice guys mentality.
Here’s the thousand-dollar
question for today, “Do You Suffer From "Nice Guy"
Syndrome?
Surely you’ve heard the old
adage "Nice Guys Finish Last?"
Well, I'm here to tell you that
saying is 100% true! But not for the reasons you may
think.
Being a "Nice Guy" with women
doesn't work, not because you get too caught up in what a
girl wants and get stuck as a friend, but because Nice Guys
are typically very, very...
SELFISH!
That's right. When you're a "Nice Guy,"
you're not really being nice, you're being EMOTIONALLY
GREEDY.
Let me explain...
One of the biggest problems guys
who are struggling with women face is something I like to
call "the Nice Guy factor."
So many guys have such a weak
identity and so little self-esteem, that they base their own
self-worth on what other people THINK OF THEM.
These guys are at the mercy of
everyone else in their lives, so they try their best to
please the people around them, hoping they'll continue to
think highly of them, so they can feel good about
themselves.
That's not so bad, right? It feels good when others
approve of you, doesn't it?
Most people look at this
behavior and would instantly categorize these poor men in
the "Nice Guys" column. After all, they're the ones who
don't like conflict. They're the ones who don't want to make
waves. They're the ones who want everyone to be happy.
They are also some of the most
selfish people on the planet.
Seriously. I know this because I
used to be one of these people, and I know all their dirty
little secrets!
And the point of this newsletter is to make everyone who
thinks of themselves as "nice" or as a "victim" really,
really pissed off!!!
All of you "Nice Guys" out there
reading this are nothing more than "people
pleasers."
Somewhere in your life, you
found out that pleasing people is a way to get other people
to like you and admire you so you can feel good about
yourself. Whether it was the acclaim of your parents, or the
acceptance of your friends, somewhere in your time on this
planet YOU LEARNED to feel good based on what other people
think of you.
But I'm here to tell you that
using other people's feelings and goodwill like that is not
only harmful, but also dishonest!
Anyone who says, "I can't stand
conflict!" or "If you can't say anything nice, don't say
anything at all!" should do us all a favor and move to the
planet "Ideal" where life is wonderful, we all have
transparent heads, and there is no war. Only on this planet
will you be able to find that everyone is willing to give
you the moral support you need.
But that's the crux of the issue
right there. All you "Nice Guys" have a losing mentality
about your need for support. Your methodology is: "I am so
loving and giving and nice, I expect you to treat me the
exact same way as I treat you!"
Here is the typical thought
process of Nice Guys:
--"Don't disagree with me! It's
not fair because I do so much for you!!!"
--"Please be sympathetic and
comfort me when I'm upset! I'm needy and can't comfort
myself."
--"Always be in a good mood. I
am always trying to make you happy and if I can't, I feel
ashamed and mad at you!"
--"Pay attention to me when I
need it! I've earned it after all I've done for you!!!!"
--"Take care of me by doing what
I'm afraid to do! I take care of you, so you need to return
the favor!!!!"
Look at those thoughts above,
and ask yourself "If someone was saying that to me, how
would I react?"
Now you know where women are coming from when they don't
want to have relationships with "Nice Guys."
Once that happens and the needy
demands of "Nice Guys" go unmet, they fall into the deep
pits of self-pity and depression. They also feel a lot of
shame and anger at their failure to please the women they
want, and though these "Nice Guys" can keep their pleasant
demeanor up for an extended period of time, their resentment
of the women they want to please will eventually grow until
it explodes in anger and rage, either directed at others,
themselves, or both.
This kind of mentality can
extremely damage your self-respect and cause others to not
want to be around you.
So what's a "Nice Guy" to
do?
If you want to have success with
women, you need to stop being agreeable and instead be
straightforward and honest, especially when you have to go
against the wishes of others and disappoint them. You can do
this with kindness and sensitivity, but you MUST do this
nonetheless.
Only by being honest, with
yourself and with others, will you be able to overcome the
selfish "nice guy" habits you have adopted in your life. And
when you do this, you will stop caring about what other
people think of you because the source of your validation
comes from the fact that you're being true to yourself and
straightforward with others, and you will cease to harbor
resentment and anger, and have more self respect and less
depression.
That is the only way I have
found to truly stop being a "Nice Guy" and become the type
of man other people can respect. It can be hard being honest
with others (especially yourself), but in the end it is far
more rewarding than any other behavior you can adopt.
Your first step on the road to being that type
of guy should be to read my book The Art of
Approaching. In it, you will learn how to create
opportunities with women that will help you practice being
straightforward and honest with them. If you can be
reading my book in literally minutes by clicking
below:
Once you adopt this new way of
thinking, you will see your success with women dramatically
improve, so don't wait! Download The Art of
Approaching right now.
Wishing you much success with
the ladies,
Thundercat and the Ask a Playboy Dream Team
It's Time To Elevate Your Game To The Next Level
Master the Art of
Approaching Women
Become an Alpha
Male
Learn How To Easily Talk With Beautiful
Women
What Every Guy Must
Know About The Female Orgasm
Natural Penis Enlargement
|