Five Things About Vaginas
Every Man Needs To Know
Brought To You By Clitoris
College
When You Want To know, Just Ask a
Playboy
What Do Hangnails and
Vaginas Have In Common?
Absolutely nothing and you need to keep it that way. Remember
this cardinal rule for all vaginas. NEVER insert your finger or
fingers into a woman’s vagina, BEFORE insuring that your
fingernails have no HANGNAILS!
You can tell if you have a hangnail by rubbing your fingernails
across your face. If you scratch your face, you will most
likely scratch her pussy. Suffice it to say, this painful event
happens regularly. Tragically, most men find out about their
prickly fingernails by being cut off from some sweet
pussy. The folks at
clitoris college take hangnails serious and so should
you.
Only Fools Rush
Into Vaginas
When it comes to
eating pussy, NEVER rush in! Forget about what you’ve seen
in porn movies. In real life most women don’t have an orgasm
within a few minutes.
A
clitoris and vaginas just aren’t designed
that way. Since the beginning of time women have been
begging for foreplay for a reason; they understand what
their bodies need to go from being highly bored to highly
aroused.
If you want to
get the pussy juices flowing, remember this law of the
vaginas: pussies crave for FOREPLAY. Give her foreplay and
you’ll inspire her pussy to start singing and screaming your
name.
Food In
Vaginas?
Putting food in your woman’s
vagina and then eating her out is a sexually steamy
adventure indeed. The thought of pressing maraschino
cherries into her love box can conjure up heightened
sensations of erotic ecstasy.
But at Ask a Playboy, we do
have a WARNING about putting food in vaginas! You do run the
risk of placing edibles in her love box that you can’t get
out… that is, without medical
attention.
Trust me when I tell you, one
of the most embarrassing moments of a woman’s life is going
to an emergency room to have a doctor pull grapes, cashews,
banana pieces or other food out of her pussy. A side note,
putting food inside her vagina that you cannot get out can
lead to an infection.
However, don’t allow our
warning douse your sexual fire, if you delight in using
vittles, just DON’T fill her vagina with food, instead,
place edibles around her vaginal opening, like the
clitoris, labia
majora, etc. See:
pictures of clitoris. Some of our favorites are lickables are
chocolate sauce,
whipped cream, Jell-O, ice cream and honey. Use your
imagination and let your tongue run
wild!
Blowing Into
Vaginas?
NEVER under any circumstances should you ever blow into a
woman's vagina. You can lightly blow on her vagina and breath
on her but never blow into her pussy! I cannot emphasize how
seriously dangerous this act is. Blowing into a woman's vagina
can cause an embolism. You ask, “What in the heck is an
embolism?”
It is the sudden blocking of a blood vessel by a blood clot, a
piece of tissue, an AIR BUBBLE or a foreign object. Simply put,
blowing into a woman’s vagina can lead to death! At Ask a
Playboy, we take eating pussy serious and we would be remiss if
we didn’t alert all pussy purveyors to the dangers of blowing
into vaginas. Just DON'T Do it! Special thanks to the folks at
Clitoris College for tipping us off to this potential
bombshell.
Dirty Fingers and
Vaginas
NEVER insert dirty fingers into a woman’s vagina! On the
surface, this warning seems ridiculously unnecessary, but you
wouldn’t believe how many men insert their dirty fingers into a
woman’s honey box and introduce all sorts of viruses and
bacteria.
Once inside her pussy, these little ghostly monsters take over
and cause debilitating infections. It’s like putting a, “Under
Construction,” on her vagina. What man in his right mind wants
to see that sign on the most delectable dish on planet
earth?
When you want to know the truth about women, from a man, always
Ask a Playboy. By the time we take you through our Clitoris
College, you'll become an expert at seducing women.
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